Call Me Father

and other lies

Obedience is love is survival is love-
the man who speaks for god
speaks god. Do not ask
which god. The frankincense
hides the stink of power / cassock sweat /
who touched you in the sacristy.
They said: kneel here. Confess this.
Call me Father.
Your body is a question
only we can answer.

(I was eight. The thurible swung. I threw up
in the parking lot after.)

They said: the book is closed,
the interpretation fixed,
your doubt a demon
we can exorcise-

How much did they charge you?
Did you pay in cash or in years?

They tried to make us
smaller than the doctrine,
to swallow the wafer of their truth
until our throats forgot
how to form-

No.

The word is: no.

But some of us choked-
spit the body of christ
into our fists,